Comment/question
It is not good for man to be alone.
Response
I agree that for the most part this is true. However, Jesus clearly
commanded, through Paul, that if a woman departed she was to remain
unmarried----in other words, alone. Her only other option is to
reconcile with her husband----then she won't be alone, but the thing is
that maybe her husband won't reconcile..........so again, her only
option is to remain alone. Those are the words of the Lord, not mine.
We
must also remember when the "burning" issue comes up. Using that
scripture as you did is misapplying it. Paul was speaking to virgin
women and men. He was not stating that it's better to commit adultery
(through a second prohibited marriage) than it is to burn.........or he
did not mean: if your spouse is incapacitated, then it's better to go
out and enter a sinful relationship, so one does not "burn".
Paul
taught that each man must have his own wife and each wife must have her
own husband. We are not to take other people's spouses as our own. That
is why Jesus called such marriages: adultery----because what it is is
people having unlawful relations with someone who is not their own
spouse, but belongs to another. A civilly gained piece of paper does not
negate what the Lord has commanded and declared. I know due to sin, much
of this doesn't seem "fair", but if we want to be faithful followers of
Christ, we have much higher expectations than the lost world around us.
Comment/question
He then says it is better to be married than to burn. To sum up, he
invokes beit shalom - a peaceful home.
Response
Paul in the very last part of his teachings, teaches that the marriage
bond endures TIL DEATH (I Cor. 7:39). When a woman is freed in such a
way, THEN she is free to marry again, only in the Lord. As for marrying
because one burns, that admonishment was for those who are FREE to marry
again, not the divorced who will commit adultery by another marriage.
That completely smacks of "flesh". As I've said before, that "burning"
argument lacks weight in it's argument, because if God allows us to sin
in order to satisfy our fleshly desires, where does it end? The truth is
with this type of thinking, there will be NO end at what we will justify
to pleasure ourselves. I've brought this up before but here's a case in
point: a man has a wife who is a vegetable (terri schiavo for
instance).......... Her husband's flesh was burning..........she sat
alone in a hospital bed for years. Do you think it mattered more to the
Lord that her husband remain faithful to her or do believe the Lord
"winked" on him finding another woman because he is human after all and
his flesh was "burning"?
Comment/question
Please note that both these are from a Hebraic perspective, which takes
very seriously "It is not good for man to be alone." This is routinely
ignored in western christianity, in fact by focusing on the parts where
Paul says it is better to be single.
Response
The thing is that this is NOT ignored in Western Christianity. Western
Christians feel ENTITLED to marry again, irregardless of what Jesus and
Paul spoke and for whatever reasons they determine are "good" reasons.
If one brings up Paul's (the Lord's) admonishment for "remaining
unmarried or being reconciled".........people get indignant.
Comment/question
It was reasoned from this that if a slave wife is due these 3 things,
food clothing and sex, how much more is a free wife?
She
could petition a rabbinical council (bet din) to force her husband to
write her a certificate of divorce (get).
She
was then free to remarry.
We
err in trying to apply both Jesus and Paul too broadly on this topic.
Response
No, I believe we "err" when we lean on our own understanding instead of
looking to the Words of Jesus and Paul for direction and clarity. In my
opinion, it's better to "keep ourselves from sin" than it is to possibly
misuse Grace to commit sin........Like has been said before there is
MUCH said about adultery in the NT, so trying to minimize it may not be
the best thing for those who profess Christ to do.
Comment/question
As for the "burning" argument you present, I have a question. Why is
this a problem if it is granted as a legitimate cause for marriage in
the scriptures?
Response
I don’t have a problem with it. I completely agree that if one "burns"
and they are rightfully allowed to marry, God allows marriage. Matter of
fact, God MADE marriage---for one man/one woman, for life. As I said,
going outside the parameters God laid out to take care of "burning
flesh"........I just can't see where God honors that.
Comment/question
Sorry...two issues..
1. 1 Co 7:15
2. 1 Co 7:27-28
Response
Yes, I know many use those two passages to say
they don't have to "remain unmarried or be reconciled". In I Cor. 7:15
Paul never gives allowance for remarriage, nor does he say the "bond" is
dissolved. He merely states that in order to walk in peace they are
released to let the spouse go if it is their desire---not to fight
them---they are not in bondage. The word Greek word used for "bondage"
is not the same word Paul use in
I Cor. 7:27-28 is ONLY speaking to those who ARE free to remarry/marry
(virgins, men who have never been married and widowers). Anyone who
departs (divorces) is NOT free by Paul's own words. They are to remain
unmarried or be reconciled. If they marry again while their spouse is
alive, they DO sin.
Comment/question
Matthew Henry Commentary
"Persons expose themselves to great danger by
attempting to perform what is above their strength, and at the same time
not bound upon them by any law of God (I realize we do not agree in this
area). If they abstain from lawful enjoyments, they may be ensnared into
unlawful ones. The remedies God hath provided against sinful
inclinations are certainly best. Marriage - "This is God's remedy for
lust. The fire may be quenched by the means He has appointed. And
marriage, with all its inconveniences, is much better than to burn with
impure and lustful desires. Marriage is honorable in all; but it is a
duty in those who cannot contain nor conquer those inclinatios."
Response
What Paul taught was that every man or every
woman ought to have their OWN spouse---not someone else's spouse. To say
that God grants people the right to commit adultery(through unbiblical
remarriage) so they will avoid fornication is completely unbiblical in
my opinion.
If God has NOT granted someone the gift of celibacy---they SHOULD get
married, so they don't sin (fornicate). If one IS married and for one
reason or another, their partner is either unwilling or unable to have
relations with their spouse, the one who "burns" is NOT free to take
another person so their flesh is satisfied. Never does God give
permission to SIN in order to avoid sin. What He does do is give
permission to AVOID sin by doing what He has deemed lawful in His sight
(marriage between 2 who are free to marry).
Comment/question
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to
marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his
own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill
his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4
The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In
the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also
to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and
for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come
together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of
self-control.
Response
Does God EVER give permission to sin to satisfy the flesh's needs? Jesus
said to divorce/remarry was to commit adultery. Paul, speaking for the
Lord said that a woman who departs is to REMAIN UNMARRIED or be
reconciled. No allowance was given to find another spouse because one
"burns". In the same breath Paul also said that a husband was NOT to
divorce His wife. Now, if he disobeys, the requirements for remaining
unmarried or being reconciled are still the same. If he chooses not to
do so, he commits adultery.
Comment/question
What I do know about my God, is that He wants us to depend on
Him...........not to be so dependant on anyone else..........even our
spouses..............that we neglect to cast our cares upon Him.
For
those who are divorced through no fault of their own, because they had a
spouse who divorced them, or because they truly felt they had no other
choice, does that mean that they are doomed to a life without true
companionship? I don't believe that..........why? Because in the
beginning God said that it is not good for man to be alone. Has that
changed?
Response
Read your first statement, then compare it to what you said in the
second. If Jesus has said that to marry another is to commit adultery,
if we then disregard this and go ahead and marry another anyways, are we
depending on HIM or on another to meet our needs?
Yes, the Lord did create woman so man would not be alone, yet in creating woman and marriage, He created guidelines for the use of marriage. If my husband ends up in a vegetative state and I have no real companionship, do I then turn to the Lord for my cares or into the arms of another man----because my husband can't/won't take me in his? Would remaining faithful to the covenant I entered into, the union of two beings that God joined as ONE, bring more Glory to God, or would entering into another union God did not join, one He even names as sin, bring more Glory to God? Does the fact that I'm smiling ear to ear in the second one and am sad and downtrodden in the first matter in God's assessment of what is right/wrong? His ways are not our ways.....................He would be glorified by bringing us to the place where we ARE smiling ear to ear taking care of that husband/wife in a vegetative state or when we are divorced and are continually lifting up a wayward spouse, begging the Lord to grant them repentance from their sin----------THAT brings Him Glory because we are LOVING as HE loved (we are GIVING, while not receiving---yet!)..............think about it.
Comment/question
I have a few questions... what about the person who
struggles with lust and desires to be married to control this and serve
the Lord better?
They should rather spend their life alone and with lust?
Response
If a person is free to marry (because they have never
married lawfully in God's sight OR they are widowed, yes, they should
get married. This is what Paul is speaking to in I Cor. 7). However,
when Paul starts addressing the separated married, he tells them the
Lord commands they remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse. He
does not give permission to marry another as that contradicts Jesus
Words in the Gospels (that to marry after a divorce is adultery). Paul
would not be teaching that it's better to commit adultery than to
"burn".................